Original article published at bullyonline.org. Reproduced with permission of the Tim Field Foundation. Original article by Tim Field.
WHAT IS MOBBING?
The difference between bullying and mobbing
The word bullying is used to describe a repeated pattern of negative intrusive violational behaviour against one or more targets and comprises constant trivial nit-picking criticism, refusal to value and acknowledge, undermining, discrediting and a host of other behaviours which are defined on my page: What is bullying?
The word mobbing is preferred to bullying in continental Europe and in those situations where a target is selected and bullied (mobbed) by a group of people rather than by one individual. However, every group has a ringleader. If this ringleader is an extrovert it will be obvious who is coercing group members into mobbing the selected target. If the ringleader is an introvert type, he or she is likely to be in the background coercing and manipulating group members into mobbing the selected target; introvert ringleaders are much more dangerous than extrovert ringleaders.
In a mobbing situation, the ringleader incites supporters, cohorts, copycats and unenlightened, inexperienced, immature or emotionally needy individuals with poor values to engage in adversarial interaction with the selected target. The ringleader, or chief bully, gains gratification from encouraging others to engage in adversarial interaction with the target. Many people use the word “mobbing” to describe this pack attack by many on one individual. Once mobbing is underway the chief bully foments the mobbing into mutually assured destruction, from which the chief bully gains intense gratification — this is a feature of people with psychopathic personality.
One aspect of psychopathic bullies is that they home in on Wannabe types – non-psychopathic lesser bullies — and then empower these individuals to gain the positions of power and authority they crave. Once installed, the Wannabe’s lack of competence makes them dependent on the chief psychopath, which means they become unwitting but willing compliant puppets. They also make perfect corporate clones and drones. A characteristic of the Wannabe is that as well as lacking all the competencies necessary for their position, they also lack the intellect to understand the nature and manner of their compliant subservience.
Throughout the mobbing experience, the target is deceived into fighting, blaming and trying to hold accountable the minor bullies of the mobbing group rather than the chief bully. The main reason a psychopathic chief bully gets away with his (or her) behaviour repeatedly is that no-one wants to believe that s/he could be the monster s/he is. This is also the reason that many pedophiles and wife-batterers evade accountability and sanction for years, often decades. They appear so charming and plausible to naive, unenlightened and inexperienced people – usually those who haven’t experienced bullying themselves. Psychopathic chief bullies are very likely to have everyone in human resources and management in their pocket, who are then manipulated into further mobbing, victimising and persecuting the target.
The golden rule when tackling a mobbing situation is, I believe, to identify and focus exclusively on the chief bully, and concentrate on holding this ringleader accountable. Expect an immediate increase in mobbing activities, and a rapidly-expanding web of deceit to be concocted against you. Alternatively, the best solution may be to make a positive decision to leave and refuse to allow these people to continue to ruin your career, your health and your life. In the unlikely event that the psychopathic chief leader is exposed and then leaves, the dysfunction, aggression and negative feelings fostered by him or her are likely to linger for years.
LINKS
1. Heinz Leymann’s The Mobbing Encyclopedia
2. Mobbing: Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace, Davenport, Schwartz, and Elliott, Civil Society Publishing, July 1999, ISBN 0967180309.
September 11, 2011 at 8:37 PM
This happened with a teacher in my daughter elementary school, a music teacher. The daughter of a minister of a off beat far right fringe Christianity accused this lady of having children to do sexually provocative excercises. The minister rounded up a mob of parents for justice… the attacks went then towards the principal and anyone who supported the teacher… People were afraid to come forward. All except one…. Yup , you got it.. Me! I talked with the teacher and she told me of the exercises she used.. . They were harmless… as far as I was concerned..and I had seen them before in a book. Apparently, the girl was talking , walking off with friends and was upset the teacher called on her to come back to class and particpate.. it was revenge. The first thing I thought of , was Lillian Helman’s play “The Children’s Hour” False accusation against a teacher, a spoiled child, a grandparent who demanded loyalty from the town since she was the wealthiest person in town. THis all culminated in the teacher committing suicide.
The minister rounded up everyone emotionally against this frail teacher who was almost faint just having to come to the school facing teachers who supported the Mob… The Mob began to feel its oats, and took it further to book burning… demanding a series of books be banned from the library. They published insults in the paper about the Principal and in fact I talked with the Principal and went on a mission. I contacted a psychologist about the children exercises in music… he said they were appropriate and had no sexual implication BUT he warned me… “In a pissing match , everyone gets wet” He was right.. It did not take long, some teachers became to attack my daughter… Thank God! she was graduating from the elementary school and we were moving to another city. I sent her immediately on the last day of school to Houston to Join my husband and my parents, while I finished packing, and taking care of this MOB! The teacher called me and said she had to go into the principals office and wanted a friend…. I came and she walked next to me down the hall with teachers glaring at her .. She was faint and leaning on my arm.. I held her up and whispered a song and I made very Strong Eye contact with each of the MOB teachers.. I whispered referring to the teachers coming out of their class room..”Come out come out , Wheverever you are, and meet the young teach who fell from a star!” :) the teacher smiled as I helped her to the principals office and she gave her story. In the mean time I had several people attack me at our Mall… and one in front of my daughter… It was the wife of a psychologist I contacted who went to my church.. Apparently , what I told him about the teacher in confidence was told to his wife, who attacked me in public. I wrote a letter to the psychologist, The Texas Board of Licensing for psychologists , to the school board (who was now involved) and Stated that my visit with the doctor was in confidence and I was shocked to learn he told his wife of our visit in his office and that I have contacted my attorney and would request a hearing on this behavior. I received a swift apology from the psychologist , his lawyer etc etc.. but kept the complaint on file with the Tx board… His wife would see me at the mall and stare with hate :)
Then I remembered a Girl Scout book from the 1920s from my mom when she was little on childhood games… and that I saw two of those games in the book. I photocopied those pages , sent copies to the principal, the teacher, and the school board. Time was drawing nearer to my having to leave finally from the city. During this time, a little girl whose parents were involved with THE MOB of Book Burning which came from this incident.. Demanded to the principal (she is only 10) that this book she received from the library be removed due to the language…. I happened to be volunteering and Asked What is the book.. The little girl handed it to me.. I read the page.. It was about a man from the backwoods who used small curses , nothing major… The little girl said.. He CURSED! and that should NOT be in a book for children. (see how children will emulate what their parents do?) I said “You know what?” ” “the book is not telling you to use Curse words, but demonstrating how this man is so ill mannered from the backwoods, that he did not know proper behavior” “It shows us how NOT to behave” “The book is telling us not to behave this way, not telling us to behave this way” ” The principal was watching me talk with the little girl. The little girl said “You are right!” ” He is not a good person and I would not want to be like him” “I said then the book taught you something very good! :) She took the book and walked away soo happy.. The principal Thanked me and I said .. “All it takes is someone being there for a child to explain books… One book saved from being banned :)”
A week went by and I was preparing to leave permanently from the town. Around 3:45 pm. I received a call from the head of the school board. He asked “where did you find this book?” I told them it was my mothers and it was selections from games for children for the Girl Scouts in the 1920s. He said he was amazed and Thanked me profusely… He said those pages saved the teacher and helped the board with a decision on her case.. The teacher kept her job and so did the principal who by this time the MOB was asking for her resignation, too. I gave each one a copy of Lillian Hellmans Play “The Children’s Hour” and said.. You are not the first and you will not be the last.. and I am glad I was involved but Hope I will NEVER have to go through this again as long as I live.
A few years ago about 16 yrs later, my husband, daughter and I returned to visit the town, some friends and the school. The principal was still there and the teachers all welcomed us, even the ones who attacked my daughter.. all remembering books I gave them to help them with their classes…. I asked the principal what happened to the MOB.. She said The Ring leader minister took his daughter out and placed her in a private religious school. The others forgot about the entire thing and went on… I was so pleased I was able to help the principal, school board and teacher, take this vile Mod Ring leader down…
One nice note… the principal is now near retirement… and she was the first one in that part of the state to have a class just for Autistic children :) I thought to myself. Why am I not surprized~! I thought about telling her I was just diagnosed, but my daughter felt I should keep it private at that time .
Can Mobs be taken down.. Yes, but as the psychologist stated, “Everyone got wet” even children and the local library which they were just about to demand books removed from there… but this book of games from the 1920s.. which I happened to have, saved the victims, the school, the books and the libraries.
I have read stories, seen plays, movies and read books on such Mob mentality. I never experienced one until this time and I can say.. I hope I never do again.
September 11, 2011 at 8:42 PM
September 12, 2011 at 8:18 AM
I was the target of mobbing at my job for almost a year. It was terrible because I had nowhere to turn. My director was the one who was leading it all and she had her “henchmen” keeping it going.
My Asperger’s was probably a factor in it, but I think that some people just need to have someone to pick on and abuse in order to feel fulfilled and powerful.
I survived. I wrote about it on my blog which helped. I also relied of God to lead me through it. My faith got me through it. I never asked Him to “deliver” me or rescue me. I never asked for a lighter load, just a stronger back.
However, I finally got a meeting with my boss’ boss’ boss and told him what was going on. Five minutes into the meeting, he told me he wanted me to come work for him. I now have a BETTER job with KINDER people and MORE opportunities! I give God the glory for that, though. I could never have done it or gotten through it on my own.
September 12, 2011 at 10:08 AM
All parents worry about their children being able to have strength in times of need like you shared, Stephanie. When my daughter was 18, her last day at Sunday School before leaving for college, she came to my husbands and my Sunday school meeting. She said “Thank you for teaching me God, because at times when I was alone defending what was right on the school ground I never felt alone because God was there with me ” My husband and I cried, knowing she would be able to take care of herself. To your situation. Mean girls (often there is a Queen Bee at the head) are some of the most brutal Mobs on the job and in personal life too. Its not easy but with God guiding and strengthening your soul… you survived and became stronger. This happens also to a lot of women who have been promoted , and women who were left behind due to lack of education or other reasons get into that “hen clique mode” of pick pick pick… nastiness. I have seen these same types do it to others on anything that is successful.. I have a feeling your intelligence was too much for this female boss. You are right, some feel they have to destroy to have power at all cost even losing their soul and trying to destroy others.
There are also advocacy groups who behave the same way. Lead by people with little or no experience and use this group mob mentality as a weapon, even among the AS groups. It has nothing to do with AS but their lack of character, which probably is why they are so angry and want revenge and see revenge via MOB attack as a substitute for respect.
I am so glad it worked out for you. God does provide an inner strength to the soul, if people listen :)
September 12, 2011 at 10:20 PM
Yvonne and Stephanie;
your accounts are chilling in this supposed era of tolerance and enlightenment; but you remained true to your beliefs and justice triumphed.
September 25, 2011 at 10:11 PM
[...] September 25, 2011 — midnightinchicago For those who are unfamiliar with the term cybermobbing, cybermobbing is when cyberbullies incite large groups of online users — usually the [...]
October 8, 2011 at 8:12 PM
[...] gossip about the target of which the target may or may not be aware. As stated in the Tim Field’s article republished with permission to the MIC blog site, “in a mobbing situation, the ringleader incites [...]